Who is to blame?

When things are going well, everyone is celebrating. People are happy. He is awesome, she is fantastic. But when things go wrong, suddenly all the fingers start pointing. Everyone is looking for someone to blame.

The reality is, whether things are going well or going wrong, no one is perfect. Only difference is, when things don’t go as planned, all these imperfections start to get noticed. But who is to blame?

It’s always your fault

That’s right. Yes, everyone made mistakes. If you blame someone else, you’re probably right. If you blame yourself, you’re probably right too.

The only difference is, and this is important, I always find that people who blame others never progress in life, because they are always blind to their own shortcomings. If you are blind to your own shortcomings, then you don’t know what you need to work on.

And those that blame themselves realise what they are lacking, so they work on it, and keep getting better.

Sometimes people try so hard not to take responsibility for themselves, that even when it was clear that there was no one else to blame, they blame it on “luck”. Maybe you’re right, maybe you’re wrong. But you can’t control luck, and always blaming it on luck means you will always be “unlucky” because you never took responsibility to be a better version of yourself.

Never dwell on failure though

I’m not suggesting being sad, demotivated and dwelling in failure, that doesn’t help you at all.

You have to accept that everyone fails along the way. If you’ve never failed, it means you’ve never taken a real risk, you’ve never moved out of your comfort zone. It means you’re stagnant, and you’re probably not living your life to it’s fullest potential.

What I’m suggesting is to be self-aware, and to take action. Take action to be better. Don’t sit still and always blame the world for things going wrong, because you are to blame too.

Self-awareness is a gift

Having self-awareness is probably one of the greatest strengths anyone can have. Whether or not you are ever able to improve on it, at the very least, knowing what you’re not strong at allows you to find ways to compensate for this weakness.

This could include building the right team and hiring people who make up that gap, or working in a job where your weakness is not critical to the success of your role.

But always try to be a better version of yourself, because most skills can be learned if you put in the time and effort. Just because you’re shy, it doesn’t mean you can’t learn to be a great public speaker. Put in the hours, learn and force yourself to speak publicly, and soon you will realise that most things are not about talent and more about effort and practice.